What a perfect time to be writing about how to practice shame resilience. I’m in the middle of feeling shame in my body as I’m writing this blog. (And do know why which I will share more on this in a later blog.)
According to Brene Brown in her book, “ I thought It Was Just ME. (But It Isn’t’) Making the journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I am Enough.” She discusses how our bodies often react to shame even before our conscious minds do. For most people, Shame has a feeling. It’s physical as well as emotional.
But before we discuss shame resilience, we need to understand the meaning of shame. According to the dictionary, Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
Of course, I prefer Brene Brown’s explanation better. She describes shame, “as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. Something we’ve experienced, done or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” She does not believe shame is helpful or productive and neither do I.
There is no way of getting around shame. Unfortunately, Shame will always be part of our lives. Once again, according to Brene Brown, “ we are all capable of developing shame resilience.” Shame reliance is not ignoring your feelings. Instead, it’s the ability to learn how to recognize shame when we are experiencing it and walk through it in a more positive and healthy way that allows us to maintain our realness and grow from our experiences.
One way to begin healing and learning how to practice shame resilience is to take some alone time and think and reflect about the physical feelings you experience when shame begins to whisper in your mind and slither into your body.
How do you physically feel shame? For me, my chest begins to feel tight and I feel like I’m not breathing very similar to a mild anxiety attack. My head feels foggy and my knees start feeling week. My immediate response is run, hide or quit. I begin to feel like I’m a little girl who wants to protect herself by hiding in a corner with arms covering my head because I’m so scared of the feelings of rejection.
Now, please know I’m not sharing this for sympathy. I’m sharing in hopes that it encourages you that first you are not alone when it comes to shame and second by sharing parts of my story it will give you permission to begin or continue your journey to healing and wholeness so that you can be free from this toxic cycle. Everyone has different experiences when it comes to physically feel shame.
I believe breakthrough begins when we have self awareness and the and the ability to be honest with ourselves and with others.
You are enough. God has gifted you with many talents, dreams, and desires. Learning how to practice shame reliance will only help you accept and love yourself giving you the confidence to step into your calling instead of running from it.
Tomorrow, I will share some examples of healthy habits that I have learned on how to work through shame so that we don’t take it out on our family or when we do because we have all done it take responsibility for our actions so that you can be free to be you and live your best life now and can put a stop to generational curses.
I am putting together a 4-week coaching program for moms who are married and ready to love themselves back to wholeness as you discover solutions to everyday struggles. This coaching program is not just for any mom who is married. This is for women who are ready to face their fears and insecurities by having the courage to get honest with themselves and prepared to do the inner work because you know deep down inside you were created for more.
If you are interested, please leave a comment or email me at Kim@kimwattspeaks.com or keep checking on my social media sites for more information coming soon!
